Teaching Flowers (or should I say “being taught by flowers”)
These flowers taught me a little something about exactly how complicated it is to be human.
Yesterday I did a good deed for someone - something I did from my heart, and expected nothing for in return. But in return, they bought me these beautiful happy tulips, and I was grateful. The thing is, we were out somewhere where I wasn’t able to get the flowers into water right away … so they sat outside for a bit, and then in my car for a bit … and it was sunny… and warm …
You know where this is going right? They wilted - terribly.
By the time I got home they were so floppy I thought they were gone for good, but I decided to put them in water anyway and see if I couldn’t revive them. So I filled a vase up with water, gently put the flowers in, and wished them goodluck on their revival efforts.
Well this morning, look what I woke up to! All the little tulips are happy and revived, having gotten what they needed AND taken what they needed, overnight … and that got me thinking about us humans.
So often in life we don’t get what we need; a kind word, a soft landing, safety in another, an apology, to be seen and heard, to be told we are funny or smart or strong or capable or beautiful, to be paid attention to, valued, and to know we are irreplaceable to those special people in our lives … these things are like water and sometimes, at very pivotal moments in our lives the important people around us will miss this .. either they won’t be able to give it due to their own wounding, or their own choices, or sometimes they just miss the cues. Sometimes it’s truly neglectful, and sometimes it’s just a missed opportunity, but regardless it makes an impact.
Like the flowers without water, we begin to wilt ..
And the longer we stay like that - without water, and wilting, not getting, or taking what we need - the harder it is to revive ourselves when we are actually given what we need! That’s the trick though - both to be given it, and to receive it. As humans, when we experience this kind of pain we can sometimes create a wall…
A wall is much like the flower not taking the water when given it. We have to be able to open and receive, to connect, to take in that which we need, even after we’ve been wounded or mal(emotionally)nourished. And often times we don’t.
And because being a human is infinitely more complicated than being a tulip, it has complications sometimes. Sometimes when someone is trying to give you “water”, it’s really not :/ and that’s where the 'Art of Discernment' comes into play … learning how to check in with ourselves and make sure we trust this person who wants to “give us what we need” (time, affection, attention, companionship, friendship, love, etc etc) is incredibly important, and a step that cannot be missed. We have to be able to discern what is truly healthy for us - and accept it - and get rid of what isn’t - without holding on to it until it wilts us to death.
We’re afraid we’ll get hurt again. We’re afraid something or someone will make us feel like we did before. We shut off and shut down instead of taking in all the water we may need to revive ourselves - because we “should” be able to do it alone. But folks, that’s not actually true.
Brene Brown says “we are wired for connection” and we are. In fact, our nervous systems don’t heal in isolation, they heal in *connection*! (and when it comes to healing and/or creating a life you love and thrive in, nervous system work in an imperative part of the puzzle)
So if there’s a missing link to your health- emotionally, mentally, physically and/or spiritually, perhaps you’ve just found something to explore. Perhaps, what you actually need is a drink of nice, fresh water … literally AND metaphorically!